{"id":1610,"date":"2014-09-14T08:43:19","date_gmt":"2014-09-14T08:43:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.joshworth.com\/?p=1610"},"modified":"2020-11-23T21:55:47","modified_gmt":"2020-11-23T21:55:47","slug":"to-do-list-for-when-im-immortal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/to-do-list-for-when-im-immortal\/","title":{"rendered":"To-Do List for When I’m Immortal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Longevity experts say death will eventually be a thing of the past. Once we’re able to manipulate our bodies with cellular precision or digitize our brain patterns so they can be backed-up and transferred to a fresh new body, we’ll be able to live on and on forever and ever. That’ll be great for me, since I’ve got a ton of projects that I just don’t have time for right now. I’ve started a to-do list so I don’t forget.<\/p>\n

1<\/h2>\n

Stop and smell the roses.
\nAll of them.
\nRate their scents on a scale of 1-1000.<\/p>\n

2<\/h2>\n

Catch up on all those past issues of National Geographic<\/em>.<\/p>\n

3<\/h2>\n

Proofread the internet.<\/p>\n

4<\/h2>\n

Binge watch Days of our Lives<\/em><\/p>\n

5<\/h2>\n

Get a new cat.
\nFilm every moment of its life. When the cat dies, edit down the footage to one year’s-worth of highlights to create the greatest cat video ever.
\nDo a year-long screening of the film whenever I miss the cat.<\/p>\n

6<\/h2>\n

Eat at every McDonalds.<\/p>\n

7<\/h2>\n

Mess\u00a0around with evolution.
\nDo some\u00a0selective breeding to create:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Domesticated squirrels.<\/li>\n
  • Bi-pedal wiener dogs.<\/li>\n
  • Praying mantises to match my wallpaper.<\/li>\n
  • A\u00a0species of bird with\u00a0a call that sounds like I’m Like a Bird<\/em> by Nelly Furtado<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    8<\/h2>\n

    Figure out once and for all how many blades of grass are\u00a0on the\u00a0front lawn by counting them individually.<\/p>\n

    9<\/h2>\n

    Finally\u00a0finish that\u00a0Ken Burns Baseball<\/em> documentary. Really take the time to study it. When it mentions a particular game, pause the documentary, track down a recording of that game and watch the whole thing.
    \nWhen it mentions a particular player, do the same thing, but with every game in which that player appeared.<\/p>\n

    10<\/h2>\n

    Open a museum for my socks.<\/p>\n

    11<\/h2>\n

    Stage that\u00a0one-man show I’ve always wanted to do: The Life and Times of Herbert Hoover<\/em>. Reenact his whole life from birth to death. In real-time.
    \nIf it’s a hit, do all the other presidents.<\/p>\n

    12<\/h2>\n

    Adopt a pet rock. Name it Roxy.
    \nLeave it outside.
    \nWhen it erodes down to almost nothing, change it\u2019s name to Dusty.<\/p>\n

    13<\/h2>\n

    Get into competitive tree racing.<\/p>\n

    14<\/h2>\n

    Do one sit-up a year for 100 millennia. That’s 100,000 reps. I’ll have abs of steel!<\/p>\n

    15<\/h2>\n

    Open a beach resort in Pittsburgh.<\/p>\n

    16<\/h2>\n

    Start stockpiling sunscreen for when the Earth gets closer to the sun.<\/p>\n

    17<\/h2>\n

    Write a series of books about a family.\u00a0It will be a generation-spanning family saga. In each book, a different family member is the main character and you see the whole story from their perspective. Oh – and also the family is a family of bees.<\/p>\n

    18<\/h2>\n

    Start planning my “End of the Holocene” party.
    \nIt’s going to be epoch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Once people can live forever, your calendar really opens up.\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1640,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[106,6],"tags":[107],"class_list":["post-1610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essays","category-thefuture","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1610"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4146,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions\/4146"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}