{"id":2317,"date":"2015-02-23T18:07:04","date_gmt":"2015-02-23T18:07:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.joshworth.com\/?p=2317"},"modified":"2020-11-23T20:38:21","modified_gmt":"2020-11-23T20:38:21","slug":"tales-to-confound-and-annoy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/tales-to-confound-and-annoy\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales to Confound and Annoy"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

Top complaints from the disgruntled editor of a failing sixties sci-fi magazine.<\/em><\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. “I’ve got an alternate reality timeline for you. One where I’m not surrounded by incompetence.”<\/li>\n
  2. “Twist ending, my ass. I knew the sergeant was a robot on page two.”<\/li>\n
  3. “If you want to talk about wormholes you and my doctor should have a conversation about my ulcer.”<\/li>\n
  4. “If an alien life force is using your secret desires against you, those secret desires better be something besides your wife’s apple strudel.”<\/li>\n
  5. “So what, now? Venusians live in free-love hippie communes?”<\/li>\n
  6. “Don’t tell me about the man-eating plants of Exophlur Show me the man-eating plants of Exophlur!”<\/li>\n
  7. “This gondolier on the Martian canals seems a little light in the space boots if you get my meaning.”<\/li>\n
  8. “Sorry to put a crack in your helmet, but these hep-cat cosmonauts are gonna need at least a two-stage rocket to escape that kind of atmosphere!”<\/li>\n
  9. “How about I slip into a ‘cryogenic stasis’ with this bottle of gin and you wake me up when you know the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than.'”<\/li>\n
  10. “Whatever you say, Michaelangelo. But if you want my opinion, a Neptunian pleasure drone would show more cleavage than that.”<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Top complaints from the disgruntled editor of a failing sixties sci-fi magazine.\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2318,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[106],"tags":[107],"class_list":["post-2317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essays","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2317"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2317\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4135,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2317\/revisions\/4135"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2318"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joshworth.com\/jpw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}